My Depression
My depression is embeded into my skin,And removing it from within,
Would do nothing more than expose painful scars,
And my depression would linger, hidden, but not far,
It's hard for me to explain to you, how i really feel,
So many emotions moving, I'm still discovering what's real,
I want to break free, from this sorrow-filled line,
Yet at the same moment, in it i want to stay intertwined,
I may be able to express to you, in words how I feel,
But you will never understand what i'm going through, until you feel it for real,
I can tell you of my loneliness, how lonely I am,
But your not alone, how could you understand?
Right now, I'm so confused, I don't know where to go,
Everything i do doesn't seem good enough, I just don't know,
I'm driving myself in cicles, I can't take the pain,
But to everyone else, I appear as if i'm insane,
Is this insanity? Or is it what's real?
Am i really crazy? Or do i just feel?
Is crazy what you call someone, when you know their ignored?
Why don't you call preps crazy? Why? Cuz by everyone they're adorded?
My depression is like a shadow, It's there when i look back,
And my thoughts and feelings, it can easily track,
It knows me better than i know myself, from inside to out,
It knows my whole life, what i do and what it's about,
No matter how hard i shake, It'll always be there,
And i'll always be trapped in life's Ocean of Despair,
For my heart is weak, and i am so alone,
And in my mind a clear destiny has yet to be shown,
Right now, I feel so lost, I don't know what's right,
And my thoughts and sadness usually end in me cutting, But i fight,
I fight a never-ending war between myself and I,
I try so very hard, but on the inside I cry,
But it matters not, because no one knows,
I hide it so very well, even my pain never shows,
But no one cares, they don't even bother to ask,
They don't bother to get to know the girl behind the mask,
Yet they ask why i'm always like this,
What sign did i not give them? What clue did they miss?
But it matters not, for i'm use to the pain,
And in every single story, their ignorance remains the same...
Twinkle, Twinkle, Bloody Blade
Twinkle Twinkle, bloody blade,Look at all the scars you’ve made,
Pink and crimson and ohh so deep,
Into your skin the scars have seeped,
Sparkle Sparkle, bloody knife,
Killer and taker of my life,
Deeper Deeper, you urged me to go,
Releasing the brake so I wouldn’t slow,
Wish Wish, upon a star,
That this time you’ll go so far,
Beg and plead and pray all night,
“Please God let my death go right!”
Wonder Wonder, how long will this take?
I keep on gashing without a break,
Hoping it will all bleed out,
Suicide is what it’s all about,
Lay Lay, on the cold hard floor,
There’s no worries you’ve locked the door,
No one can enter, you’ll be just fine,
Until you have surcome to time,
Dead Dead, now you lay,
Cold, alone and bloody you will stay,
You’ve got your wish, no more life,
Next time be careful when you wish upon a knife.
Cut Slit Bleed Die Repeat; It's a lifestyle not an illness
I slowly walk to an empty room,The aura in the air spells out doom,
The moonlight shines off my blade,
The stunning reflection it has made,
Alone in a corner, I can't help but to cry,
Because I know that tonight I will die,
I tried my best to get back my life,
But it seems the only way out is the knife,
My blade is my instrument and with it I play,
So many notes and sounds everyday,
Tonights specialty will be nothing more,
Than the sad violin cutters adore,
I begin to play the violin with my wrists,
The gentle touch of the razorblades kiss,
I move with the sound, I dance with the beat,
The razorblade sweeping me off my feet,
I fall to the ground, but get up once more,
The blood on my wrists, I can't help but ignore,
I smile and laugh, the most fun I've had,
For the first time in life I wasn't sad,
I play the violin with my wrists,
The gentle touch of the razorblades kiss,
The warm crimson blood caressing me,
The color red is all I can see,
But then it goes, my vision blurs,
The calming as my razor purrs,
I can no longer feel, my body goes numb,
It seems that I have finally won,
I lay on the floor, around my puddle of red,
The best wish granted, I will soon be dead,
I can feel my breath weakening as my heart slows,
And then, finally, my life goes,
A letter, and all it says:
"Tonight I played the violin with my wrists,
The gentle touch of the razorblades kiss,
The warm crimson blood caressing me,
As I died happiness was all I could see."
